Thanks To You Now I Keep My Walls Up At All Times.
And another one bites the dust.
I had made a vow that I was done with relationships.
I was done with the heartbreak and the pain.
It wasn’t worth it anymore until you came along.
Falling in love with you was never my intention but somewhere along the way I fell for you.
I fell for your eyes,
I fell for your smile and your laugh,
I fell for the way you made me feel,
I felt whole again.
The emptiness that I had felt inside for so long had finally diminished and all I saw was you.
Being with you was a challenge at times.
You were complicated and frustrating.
You knew all the right buttons to push to make me mad.
But you were also intoxicating and thrilling and you made me feel like I was the only one.
Little did I know but I wasn’t the only one in your world.
People say you should always listen to your gut feelings because 9 times out of 10 it’s right.
And there were times when I thought I saw red flags but I always chalked it up to my paranoia of being hurt.
I didn’t want to push you away.
I didn’t want to lock you out.
I wanted it to work more than anything so I ignored that voice inside of me and I let my heart win.
It wasn’t long before I finally saw for myself that those red flags were real.
My gut feelings had been right all along.
It was disappointing and heartbreaking.
Because I wanted it to be you.
I thought you were going to be the one that will change everything for me.
But instead you were the one who reminded me that things never change.
It’s been sometime now since you walked away.
My walls are back up and once again my heart is wrapped in chains.
I’m still picking up the pieces that you left behind trying to put it back together.
But it doesn’t seem to fit anymore.
I want to hate you but I also want to thank you for reminding me of why I have walls and why I keep my heart so guarded.
You destroyed me but your destruction may have been my saving grace because now I know better.