That’s What Stings The Most!
What stings the most is his merciless acts of cruelty.
I had no idea he is A Narcissist and I didn’t know anything about Narcissism.
I’m An Empathetic Person and I knew that he was suffering from inside.
I always understood how difficult it was for him to take responsibility for any of the hurt he has caused me.
I knew that him acknowledging responsibility for hurting someone else was too painful for him to bare.
I thought I was going crazy when I argued with him because he could never stay on track with any of our conversations and would always throw some wild accusations out that had nothing to do with the subject at hand.
I could never understand why he didn’t see the cycle, same behaviour over and over again only to come back and apologise for hurting me later.
He is so miserable and empty as a person.
His happiness can only last for a short time and I just wanted him to be happy.
At the end my self esteem was at rock bottom and I couldn’t bear being around him because it made me feel useless and unlovable.
I believed he loved me enough to self reflect on his own behaviour but he went berserk when I tried to tell him how he’s hurting me and then went on The Smear Campaign.
It was his vile behaviour that horrified me.
I have to deal with watching this person that I loved and respected deeply acting as if I’m his worst enemy.
The love switch is turned off and now his only goal is just to destroy me.
It is war and he isn’t going to lose at any cost.
The lies that are sown and the disgusting accusations are appalling.
This behaviour landed me in full blown Post Stress Traumatic Disorder.
I couldn’t even look at his name in any piece of paper without shaking.
The only good thing about this process is that I’m able to have my eyes wide opened as to The True Monster inside him that I was deeply in love with.
Dealing with this reality helped me to stay away despite battling wanting to be with him because of the trauma bond.
I’m always reminding myself about the reality of what I experienced and still experiencing.
My life goal now is to make others aware that this Disorder is A Real Thing and the consequences are devastating.
If there is more education and awareness about Narcissism then we can hope that people will run as fast as they can when they see this behaviour exhibited by someone.