The Destruction Of Your Reputation And Credibility.
The Typical Narcissist’s strategy of dealing with a person he lost control over is by discrediting her.
I was accused of being a stalker and a psychopath.
Yes, it hurts but it is important to remember that people who really know you won’t believe it and people who don’t know you won’t care.
I found out that the best way to deal with it was to ignore it.
Not to reciprocate, not to respond and not to bother.
Being faced with a barrage of false allegations, upsetting lies and slander is painful.
I wanted to defend myself and set the record straight but this would just have fuelled The Narcissist’s attack.
And after all what other people think of me is none of my business.
Keep reminding yourself that you are a lovable, that you are worthy and you deserve happiness.
And what other people say or think of you won’t change a thing about it.
• How to deal with fear and anxiety?
When The Narcissistic Storm started to rage, my worst problem was fear and fear is an understandable reaction.
Your life is under attack and your livelihood threatened.
It’s a horror scene from a soap opera you never wanted to star in but there are ways to cope with fear and make this upsetting time easier for you.
• How to accept that justice isn’t your concern?
I remember in the early days of The Narcissistic Storm, I received daily threatening messages.
I experienced distress, anxiety and heartache.
And I wanted justice.
How could he mistreat me and get away with it?
Where was justice?
Why did this happen to me while The Perpetrator remained unpunished and untouched?
The feeling of helplessness and injustice almost killed me but then I realised that I can choose to be happy.
Not once did he stop attacking me, not once was justice served and not once did I have my revenge.
The truth is that A Narcissist is a highly unhappy person.
Deep down he hates himself and he feels worthless.
He is driven by unconscious compulsion and consumed by anger, hatred and fear.
Whether he sees it or not, he suffers every minute of every day and the best revenge is to be happy and to live a fulfilled life.
Love, laugh and know your worth.
Invest your time and energy in happiness, not resentment and revenge.
Your life will never be perfect but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy.
Don’t wait for things to settle down and for all the stars to align.
• How to practice compassion even when he doesn’t deserve it?
I know what you are thinking.
How could the person who attacks, bullies and threatens you deserve your compassion?
The answer is not for his sake but for your own.
Wishing him misery, doom, suffering and gout will not change anything about his life or his behaviour towards you.
But the resentment, anger and hatred will erode your soul, destroy your happiness and damage your health.
You can hold on to all these negative feelings or you can let it go ,, the choice is yours.
He is a miserable person living a miserable life and he needs your compassion.
• Why choosing your fights is crucial?
It’s imperative to fight for your rights.
You are worthy and you deserve respect.
A Narcissist fights as a matter of principle.
Losing, being in the wrong and defeat is a testimony of his worthlessness.
His feelings of worth and relevance is a fragile construct of illusion, self-deception and lies and he will defend it.
If you only still fight just to be right then ask yourself whether your happiness and quality of life is worth more than having the last word.
Maybe it’s time to move on.
Not winning an argument doesn’t mean that you weren’t good enough to succeed.
It means that you love and respect yourself enough to leave a miserable situation behind without shame or feelings of inferiority.
You can finally be happy again.