The Fear Of Exposure.

I refer to The Narcissist as a he rather than a she simply because my experience was with a he and it was a he who was adamant to destroy my life and very nearly succeeded.

Narcissists fear exposure.
The primary issue at hand is that he doesn’t want people to be aware of the fact that he’s A Narcissist.

In addition to not wanting to be discovered, Narcissists are paranoid, therefore, they have multiple reasons to want to keep every aspect of their lives a secret.

The litany of things The Narcissist would prefer his significant other to not know is extensive.

I have set forth below a list of issues that The Narcissist wants to keep secret in order to make certain the fact that he’s A Narcissist is never exposed.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that if he doesn’t receive a virtually ceaseless stream of attention he will literally be in serious jeopardy.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that most of his emotions are negative in orientation.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when you receive accolades, he feels envy and anger rather than happiness for your good fortune.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he will be sure to expect you to show him deference and common courtesy at all times; however, he will seemingly be unaware of the fact that he will consistently treat you rudely and thoughtlessly.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he can‘t be emotionally attached.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when you met him, he was likely in the last stages of the devaluation process of someone soon to be a former significant other.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when he gives you the “heave ho,” someone will be immediately coming on board who’s in the position you are in right now.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he will accept your steady flow of compliments; however, it will not dawn on him that perhaps it would be appropriate every so often to acknowledge your talents and strengths.

Post idealisation phase, The Narcissist doesn’t want you know that at any given time his “love” for you is matched by a commensurate level of “hate

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he will insist that you should always be sensitive to his feelings and needs; however, he will be utterly insensitive to yours.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he’s going to deem any criticism of him whatsoever to be out of line and unwarranted regardless of how well meaning it is; however, he will believe he’s entitled to criticise you about any and all issues no matter how negligible.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that if you are happy for anything whatsoever that’s unrelated to him, he becomes angry.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when he tells you he’s going to change he’s aware that the said changes are likely not going to take place.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that although his behaviour often seems arbitrary, in actuality, The Narcissist always makes a concerted effort to be many moves ahead you.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he’s aware that the “push-pull” tactic is meant to keep you psychologically off balance.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when he projects his shortcomings on to you, his projection of his weaknesses is not done subconsciously but rather frequently is a conscious choice to shift blame and accountability.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that many of his mean-spirited behaviours are a test to see how devoted to him you are.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that most of his waking thoughts concerns his pathological need to obtain attention from outside sources.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that the person you met is not really his true self ,, It was an act.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he doesn’t perceive you to be an individual with your own feelings and concerns.

The Narcissist does want you to know that he feels every interaction he has with you is a competition.

Post idealisation phase, The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when you are not in his line of site, he believes you are either cheating on him or “up to no good” in one way or another.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that if you give your attention to anyone other than him he will resent you for it.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that all of the suffering his abusive caregiver’s unjustly inflicted on him, he himself is, in turn, going to try to inflict on you.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you know that the better you treat him, the worse he will treat you.

Post idealisation phase, The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that whenever he notices you have had a particularly good time, he will be certain to try to undermine your happiness.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you know that anytime you show emotion he will perceive that as a sign of weakness.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he doesn’t practice what he preaches.

The Narcissist does want you to know that when he gets sick he will expect you to dote on him without reservation; however, when you get sick, he’s going to resent you for being ill especially if it inconveniences him in any way.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that one of the reasons he sought you out is because you subscribe to the notion that not only personal but also relationship integrity is important to uphold.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he believes putting an emphasis on relationship integrity makes you easier to manipulate.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that in roughly three to six months from the day your relationship started, he will likely have a pathological need to diminish your self-esteem.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that when you do anything nice for him, his first instinct is to think your act of kindness is merely a ploy to manipulate him.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that if he meets a “better” fuel provider, he will likely dump you and “trade up“.

In other words, if he can avoid an alleged attention gap, he will swap you out for the allegedly “better” fuel source.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he felt virtually certain that your relationship was doomed to fail the day it began.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he knows much more about his Narcissistic Tendencies than he’s willing to admit.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he likely has been told throughout his life that he only thinks about “himself“.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that you are a good catch.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that as a child he felt completely powerless.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he will do anything to avoid thinking about the past wreckage he has caused and potential future consequences of his own impulsive actions.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know it rarely, if ever, hurts him to hurt you.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that at any given time he can only see you as all good or as all bad.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that after he plugs in the attention source he groomed behind your back, he will feel a compulsion to paint you black in an effort to allay his guilt for treating you with such blatant disregard and unwarranted cruelty.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he feels no regret.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that inevitably you will be devalued.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he has intrusive thoughts that undermine his self esteem as well as indicate you will inevitably betray him.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he thrives on drama, trauma and chaos.

The Narcissist doesn’t want you to know that he’s aware that you have done nothing but good for him and he has by any objective standard subjected you to unwarranted abuse.

The Narcissist will in essence have cursed himself forever and that he will never change.

4 Comments

  • This is spot on!
    I also have to say that you are so pretty ❤

  • I love ur blogs & I read ur book, it’s amazing.
    Ur strength is inspiring & u have no idea how many people u r helping with ur blogs so thank u ❤

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, it makes me so happy knowing that I’m making a difference in others lives 🙏

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