The Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.
I never knew that Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome does actually exist.
Most if not all Survivors had to suffer from The Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, some knew what it was and some never knew of such a Syndrome.
When you are suffering from The Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome you will feel like your mind is terrified and fearful full of anxiety and anxiousness.
You are constantly questioning your self.
Feelings becomes numb that you want to cry but you can’t.
Happiness is sucked out of you and you forget the real meaning of it.
Once a confident smiling face now a shocked and dejected face barely scrapping through life.
You can’t sleep properly and when you wake up you feel drained.
The biggest symptom of Abuse is Lack Of Sleep.
You lose appetite, you lose weight and you lose interest in eating.
Laying in your room aloneness is your best company.
You are waiting for this one chat or call from your Narcissist but it never seem to happen.
Remembering the old good memories of the Narcissist Love Bombing Phase and replaying all events in your mind 24/7.
Asking yourself where did it all go wrong ?
In the deep pool of guilt trip you hope that the next day would be good at least to feel alive?
Stockholm Syndrome, Cognitive Dissonance and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I never knew what that meant until I had to fight for my survival.
This kind of Abuse is the worst!
It is a long term of Psychological Manipulation. Why?!
Because of the condition they leave the victims in once they are gone!
This kind of Abuse is so subtle that you may not even notice that you are being Abused!
Narcissist’s job is to make sure that you see yourself as an Abuser if you ever thought of trying to stand up for yourself.
You will begin to think that you are going insane!
They will tell you that you are unstable, naive, too emotional, too nice, not ready for a relationship, inexperienced and that you need to see a Therapist!
You will suddenly suffer from depression and anxiety because of the constant Psychological PRESSURE and ABUSE, even if you had a perfect mental health history before!
No matter how hard you are working on yourself and on the relationship, Narcissists will blame you for the one thing you are not doing enough.
Their goal is to destroy your self esteem by the constant and unpleasant surprises which they later attribute to your incompetence and lack of love.
They know you are ahead of them because if they really thought of you as worthless, they will never waste their time Manipulating or Abusing you?
You will start losing the enjoyment in the things that used to make you happy.
You will become so alienated from yourself that you are not the same person anymore.
Enjoyment is not intended for Martyrs and you have become just that!
That is why this Abuse is the worst and the most Cruel Type of Abuse you will have to endure alone.
You will find yourself constantly in a position where you have to defend yourself.
You don’t know where the next attack is coming from but you won’t have to wait long.
You are on the edge and walking on egg shells trying not to set anything off in order not to fail.
Relaxing is something you used to do.
Your emotions are frazzled and now you have two reactions left, either crying or get angry but most of the time you will waffle between the two.
Your self esteem is now Shattered.
You don’t have the confidence to make the simplest decision.
You will always wonder how anyone will possibly want to be with you.
There is an empty void inside of you now, a hollowed numb feeling that you are constantly aware of.
Your ability to be happy and feel joy has been stripped away.
It is completely normal and understandable to go through all this after the Narcissist’s Discard.
Now you can’t deny or run from the reality that you tried to avoid and ignore for so long.
So allow yourself to go through it and don’t rush your healing process if you truly want to heal.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone.
We Survivors have gone through this and some of us still are and that is fine.
Believe me you will get out of it stronger and more determined than ever.