The Problem Is That You Made Me Fall For You!
The problem is you knew exactly how I felt about you from the start.
You knew that you couldn’t reciprocate it but you still let me fall.
Maybe you thought you were being nice.
Maybe there was comfort in having me there but while I was trying so hard to be what you needed I was falling even harder for you.
And maybe you didn’t think much of the little things but it was those things that meant everything to me.
It was eye contact that lasted longer than it should have.
It was a hug or a simple gesture as your arm brushed against mine that I felt from my head to toes and the electric feeling of something that was there.
It was looking at me from across the room while I knew you were watching me.
It was in that moment I mustered the courage to say I love you and seconds felt like hours as my face got red waiting but then you said it back.
It was every text you sent me when you thought of me as you saw something.
It was every time I left and you told me you missed me.
It was every time you said all the right things.
You knew exactly what you were doing.
You made me think I had a chance with you.
It was the likes and comments that I woke up to smiling just seeing your name on my screen.
It was every time you posted something I knew you wanted me to see it but what I didn’t know was why.
Because here you were attempting to get my attention when in reality you had it this whole time.
But the thing was you weren’t making any moves or trying.
Instead you just let me live in this limbo of maybes and what ifs.
And while you were fumbling through confusion I was growing more confident in how I felt.
Maybe you weren’t ready for someone like me but the world doesn’t ask if you are ready to meet the right person.
It just bring you to them and hope you realise how lucky you are and act accordingly but you didn’t.
So instead of me walking away I had a stream of questions running through my mind wondering why I wasn’t good enough for you.
Wondering what I could have done more.
Fixating upon flaws because obviously it was me not being good enough.
Then you had the nerve to turn around and make me feel guilty for having feelings for you.
Like it was my fault I fell in love with you when in reality it was you who led me to feel that way.
You led someone on who would never hurt you or do the same.
The worst thing you can do is let someone fall for you and not be there to catch them.
You can’t simply touch someone’s heart, become so close then wonder why they feel a certain way about you.
It’s simply not fair.
I loved you enough to go along with whatever this thing was that you later claimed wasn’t anything.
I loved you enough to not say anything about how I felt but quietly try and be what you need.
Then I loved you enough to tell you when I thought the time was right only to be met with rejection and confusion.
If you are confused about why I feel this way imagine how confused I am wondering why you don’t as I replay in my mind how I misread all those signals.
I love you enough to let you go because I’m still trying to be selfless here as I pick up the pieces of my broken heart smiling at you and saying no unkind words as you go.
Because I still love you.
And you don’t see it yet but the heart that still loves after you break it belongs to the person you will end up missing the most.