The Strongest Person In The Room!
A lot of people use the words sad and depressed interchangeability.
We all have moments where we are sad and we all have bad days.
But it is only when we live with depression that we understand it isn’t just the simple emotion of being sad but a state of being.
It comes into our lives uninvited like a storm destroying everything in it’s path.
It is a cloud that hovers over us even if it goes away and we are just experiencing a fleeting moment of happiness, we know how quickly it can change.
It is being in a situation in which we should be happy but we aren’t.
We are utterly depressed and we feel a sense of guilt for these things we can’t control.
No one chooses this.
It isn’t as simple as be happy because we want to be.
We want more than anything to just be like everyone else.
We want our smile to be genuine and real.
We want our laugh to reflect that we are happy and not faking it.
But often times depression is the strongest person in the room.
Depression is knowing this darkness that no one else does.
When we are crying ourselves to sleep at night and unable to get out of bed when we wake up the next morning because all we want to do is lay there and stare at the ceiling.
We make sure to get all dressed up so we look nice because when we hide our depression it is all about the art of deception.
That is why it nearly kills us putting on a made up face with the biggest smile we can fake.
Depression means we rather be hard at work because it’s better to be busy than allow these emotions to consume us so we become the overachievers.
We become everyone’s favourite person to be around because we know what it is like to be in the dark so we shine the light on everyone around us.
This means our depression actually helps us become the friend everyone trusts and confides in because while we can’t make ourselves happy, we can make other people happy.
It means telling the best jokes so we can bring joy to others.
It is that which gives us hope.
It is the happiness we bring to others that we hold onto.
Depression leads to canceled plans with excuses because we just can’t handle being around other people or it means feeling complete alone at a huge party.
And we can’t reach out to anyone because no one deserves to be brought into this place.
This unknown place that we can’t describe because we don’t really know what it actually is.
We just know we are different but we don’t quite understand why.
Having depression gives us a unique ability to understand things and have compassion in a way others don’t.
We have keen observation skills.
We notice body language and a shift in tone.
We notice a raised eyebrow and an eye roll.
We see worry people hide.
We see insecurities.
We see everything because we know what it is like to hide things from the world.
We hang on to the few things and people that always brings us out of it.
Depression means saying we are fine when we are not and wait to fall down into a pit of sadness in private.
No one knows about this battle we wake up and fight every day and it is not because we hide it so well.
It’s because having depression means getting up the next day and trying again.
Because despite how dark this place is that we are living in, we are still choosing to embrace the light.
Depression in itself is often the strongest person in the room because choosing to be happy or at least trying to be happy is the greatest accomplishment we can achieve when we are depressed.