The Unrealistic Dream!!
I believe it is something every Victim hopes for at sometime, that the person who swept them off their feet is merely going through a difficult, personal phase.
He will realise that you are exactly what he wants in his life and will now put you on a pedestal and love you forever more.
The love bombing phase is very potent, like a hit of heroin or morphine.
You feel so extraordinarily wonderful, like you are walking on clouds.
When the devaluing phase begins, you start believing that you have failed him somehow,
That you must try harder to please him,
to get back to that feeling of walking on clouds.
Sadly that unbelievably wonderful feeling will never be felt again.
Everything you believed you felt for that person, as well as what you believed he felt for you was just an illusion ,, it was never real.
It was a cruel heartless game played by the person you gave your heart to.
That person never loved or cared about you.
He never felt any remorse or grief for the pain he caused you because he can’t feel that.
He can’t love, respect or treat you as an equal.
He is not wired like you and I, he had his emotional growth cut off as a child be it from abuse, neglect or abandonment.
He is so damaged and the only person that will ever matter to him is himself.
There are several parts to healing and forgetting.
First you educate yourself, watch videos, read books, articles, anything and everything about Narcissism.
Start taking care of you.
Don’t allow your mind to bring up the good times with that false person.
Be mindful and think of the here and now.
Thank the Universe for your life and be grateful for all you have even if it is very little.
You lived though a nightmare to hell and you survived so be thankful for that.
You are worthy and you deserve to live and love.
Throw away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of this imaginary person.
Block any and every contact route with this person, accepting that you will never speak or see this person again.
You must go no contact.
To live with hope that this person will come back and make everything ok again is a profoundly cruel and inhumane fantasy.
You must let go of this thought.
I believe part of the healing and forgetting about this comes from accepting, truly and profoundly accepting that this was all a fabrication, a human made dream that touched your very core.
Once you acknowledge that it was never based on honesty, decency, respect or love you will allow yourself to slowly let the fantasy go and your ordeal and pain will lessen with every passing day.
You will find yourself again, the person you were before you entered this nightmare.
It will be a long and difficult recovery.
There will be many times that you will refute reality and want your false feelings of love to take over.
You will crave this fabrication.
You will want to be nearby this falsehood.
You will cry and be doubled over in pain and emptiness.
However to give in and reach out will only cause you additional pain so you must fight hard not to give in to this unreal feelings.
As time passes the urge and the need will slowly let go of you and you will start to breath again.
You will start living for yourself and to be whole again.
It will be difficult but it’s not impossible.
You will survive.
You will be battered and bruised but you will survive and eventually you will strive.
Simply because there is a life after this.
Be strong and patient with yourself.