I still struggle with it every once in a while even though I have been no contact for over a year now.
The best advice I can give you is to retrain your mind.
Every time he comes up in your thoughts, train yourself to move to something about YOU like a hobby, another friend or your dreams about your future.
It is called redirecting your thoughts away from the Narcissist.
If that didn’t work, immediately go back to the memories of how you were discarded.
Think about how disrespectful and surly he was and how pathetic his attempts were to destroy you.
Think about how dishonourable his lies were.
You must work on your self esteem as well.
I do a lot of yoga, it helps me to stop thinking a bit.
I volunteer to help those who are in need whenever my time permits.
Each of those things wore me out so I didn’t have the energy to think about him.
And now I feel and look much better.
Don’t look at his social media.
Don’t recall the fake memories.
Those are very unhealthy behaviours and you must work on being healthier.
The healthier you are the less susceptible you will be to falling back into painful patterns.
Don’t worry about the new people in his life.
Look for the new people in YOUR life.
And as always, talking to your therapist is a great way to work through it.
Before your head hits the pillow, go over what you learnt from the experience and how grateful you are to feel better about yourself now.
Imagine what a healthy relationship looks like.
Ironically, I thought about my Narcissist last night.
I went through our early old messages and was remembering how charming and caring he was.
I got up, washed the dishes, washed some clothes and then noticed he was out of my mind.
Really, he doesn’t deserve your energy.
Use it for yourself.
You will go through the withdrawal.
You get addicted to him, trauma bonded and it hurts like hell.
I was in your shoes.
What worked for me was to have someone to call when I felt weak to tell me that everything will be alright.
It took me awhile to get on the No Contact wagon and I payed the price believe me.
Old wounds reopened new wounds.
Even if you failed at No Contact it’s not the end.
It’s a new beginning.
If you falter, just acknowledge it and let it pass and Start New.
You can’t allow toxic people back into your life.
Fight those feelings, I know it feels like you are being torn apart but you can’t recover with fresh chaos infusing with your system.
No contact means No Contact, block him everywhere, do not check his social media pages, accept no messages or phone calls.
He knows what to say to manipulate your thoughts like a remorseless predator.
So be smarter and stronger and believe in yourself and you will heal.