This Is Who I Am Now.

You used to be the one person I could count on.

The person who was supposed to take care of me.

The person I ran to with my secrets, someone I trusted with my heart and vulnerable emotions.

We were never perfect but for some naive reason I thought we were.

I never for even a second thought you would be the one to destroy me.

There were no warning signs.
No red flags.

Just you the man I loved.
The man I would have moved mountains for had you asked.

Maybe I should have known better.
Maybe there was something I missed.

Something I couldn’t see because I was so enamoured with your every bit.

Maybe I was so in love that I turned a blind eye.

Your betrayal shook my foundation.
Not just the foundation of us but the foundation of everything I believed in.

All what I believed about love was up in the air.

I wasn’t sure about anything.
It wasn’t just about you.

I was now questioning everything.
When you betrayed my trust you didn’t just break my heart.

You also broke me.
You broke me into a new person.
You broke me into someone who had so many questions but received no answers.

You broke me into someone who needed comfort but didn’t trust hands.

You broke me into a grieving woman wanting to understand.

But I didn’t.
I never understood why you did what you did to me?

And maybe that’s ok.

When you hurt me you destroyed me.
You destroyed the person you knew.

The one who put her needs second to yours.
The one who looked away when something wasn’t right.

You destroyed me but I needed to be destroyed.

And as painful as it was I learnt who I could become.

I learnt that being without you won’t ruin my life.

Being without you was my rebirth.
Being without you was my second chance.

I had to bury the one you destroyed.
She is no longer who I am.

So consider this to be my funeral for the one who didn’t ask for what she wanted.

For the one who thought she didn’t deserve much.

For the one who thought smiling politely was all she could ever do.

You broke her but something new is emerging.

I’m not the one you destroyed.
That woman is dead.

The new me is someone who would never even give you the time of day.

She is too busy.
She has got way too much going on for her to even think about someone like you.

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