This Is Who I Became After You Broke Me.

I opened my heart to you.
I accepted you in my life as the most welcomed guest.

My soul, body and mind were all yours but you threw that away.

I’m broken.
Broken because you tore my heart apart.
I only wanted to feel your love and respect.

That’s all I ever wanted from you.
Was that too much to ask?
No, I don’t think so.

You always had my respect and admiration.
I totally forgot myself,  my wishes and problems so I could dedicate myself to your needs.

You were everything to me, my pride, my missing half and my guiding light.

You were everything.
What did you do?
Was it easier for you to crush my pride and heart rather than accept my love?

Whatever, don’t worry, you successfully broke my hopes and confidence into million pieces.

How can you live with that?
Doesn’t it bother you?
What did I ever do to you to deserve your cruel treatment?

How could you never realise I was so easy to love or maybe you just didn’t want to see that.

I know, people will say I should have been stronger.

That I should have shown some dignity and stood up for myself.

That it was my fault that I let my Missing Half abuse me emotionally.

If only I had shown more strength, bravery and had more self-confidence, I wouldn’t have been hurt.

But it’s never that easy.
Is it?

I always knew that things weren’t right.
I knew that this love wasn’t what I expected.
My inner voice was always screaming at me to run as fast as I can and never look back.

However, of course I couldn’t.
I couldn’t get away from him.
I let him control my mind.

His manipulations were strong.
He had me under control and was able to do to me whatever he desired.

You broke me and I changed.
You wouldn’t recognise me.
I’m a completely different person now.

After you broke me my heart is now always guarded up.

You were the reason my heart is broken.
You remember, don’t you?

You taught me that love can put deep scars in my heart and body.

Scars that can never be completely healed so I shielded my heart within myself now.

No one will come near my heart again.

My guard is up.
Because I’m afraid it may happen again.

Trusting people is hard for me.
I believed you were the one.
The loving, kind and unselfish person I always dreamt of.

But you turned out to be fake.
You were The Devil In Disguise.
It is very hard for me to accept new people in my life because I will doubt everything they say to me.

I learnt how to fake my feelings.
You destroyed the genuine person in me.

I was an open person.
I would show my emotions whether I was happy or sad but you destroyed me when you came into my life.

You made me suffer and shattered my hopes and dreams.

You showed me what real suffering was like.
I started to hide from my thoughts and feelings.
I didn’t want people to know what I was going through.

Now I can smile while I’m suffering deep down.
Now even if my body hurts I can keep laughing.

I’m drowning but I keep saying I’m fine.
This is who I am after you broke me.

Does this seem fair?
You broke me because I loved you.

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