I used to tell myself that The Devil I know is better than The Devil I don’t.
We often choose the familiar over the unknown even when it is awful.
The familiar is predictable therefore we will be prepared for it even if a pattern is inconsistent we can still trust the pattern.
Furthermore we convince ourselves that no one is completely horrible 100% of the time.
We fear losing him forever and we have a hard time believing anything could ever be better even though we know it is not good.
Fear will outweigh all possibilities.
Our brains are wired to have answers just like when we start a puzzle most of us want to finish it at a certain time.
And when we don’t, for a short time we feel like something is not right because we couldn’t complete it on time.
Narcissists never give closure for cruel intentions.
No closure of the abrupt ending with no answers will lead to Trauma Bonding.
Despite all the BAD and HORRIBLE things he did to us we are still strangely obsessively drawn to him.
We still have hope for the two of us and sometimes we think that maybe it wasn’t that bad even though we know it was.
We keep asking if there was anything we could have done differently to get a different outcome?
In time I realised that nothing could have ever changed the outcome.
I had to realise this ON MY OWN.
Everyone takes time to heal and decide when to move forward.
In time you will get through it too.