To The Dream That Died.
You were just a simple seed.
Nothing more than a maybe.
Or dare I say a probability.
And in my heart you were watered, sunned, nurtured and loved.
There you sprouted and bloomed.
I was in my naïveté so sure of you.
So sure that you would steadily grow from a dream into a reality.
I assumed you were tied, tethered and secured to the hands on the clock.
And as it would surely click forward, you would grow bigger, stronger and realer until everyone could see you and know you the way I have.
It was simply as people used to say a matter of time.
But time is so much more than a simple matter.
And I was wrong.
Seconds on the clock seemed so definitive, certain and innocuous but every single one is filled with choices and possibilities.
How do you say goodbye to something that you never had?
And how you do mourn something that never was?
Maybe all of our maybes were real in it’s own right.
And maybe he can be mourned for exactly what he was.
A hundred tears for lost years.
A thousand for each of the possibly, the could be’s and the who knows.
And a million goodbyes for the millions of seconds that you will never see.
Every circumstance that will never reveal itself to you.
Each choice that you will never get to make.
All of the roads that have closed and the paths that you will never get to take.
Time always finds a way of bringing us back into it’s now.
The future is a wave pulling you under, strangling your breath and spitting you back onto the shore.
Reminding me that I can visit but I can‘t live there.
Here on the shore and in the now is where I can breathe and start again.
And as time has brought me back to my proper place, I will start building new roads piece by piece with each second that time gifts me.
And maybe I will see you again.
Maybe some version of you will finally sprout and bloom on this new path.
Maybe you will get to claim as many minutes and moments that were stolen from me.
Or maybe I will simply visit you in my heart where you lived and where you died.
And each second that we spend in that sacred space of dreams will solidify into a moment.
A moment that will forever be yours and mine.