To The Narcissist I Had To Leave ,, To You SY.
Some said to me that I have to fight you off from my life and move on.
But it is my healing nature that makes me want to help those in greatest need and I thought that I could help you heal.
I struggled trying to make things work because I felt that you wanted the same thing.
But you had a different perception of the world and you didn’t see yourself fitting in.
I know you are a Text Book Narcissist and I’m also aware that Narcissists are Evil.
And as an empath I understand those countless good souls that ended up in the Narcissist trap.
I was strong as any Empath is.
I wanted to enter the cage that was neatly prepared for me.
I pushed toward it as I thought there was good in you because there is good in every one of us.
I can tell you that I did my part to the best of my abilities.
I still love you and there is no force greater than love.
Nothing can convince me out of loving the person I fell head over heels for ever since I met him.
However sometimes growth means pushing yourself out of the comfort zone you were so eager to create.
The comfort zone for you was controlling me through your constant efforts for manipulation.
I tried to convince myself that you have never intended to do these things or to break me intentionally and that your different perception of the world did.
The perception that was planted in you since you were a child and the disturbing illusion of perfection you always strived to achieve.
It is well known that A Narcissist will do everything to stay on the top of his definition for perfection and you did just that.
So I had to let you go.
Many will agree that letting go of the person you love is the hardest thing to do.
hardest than enduring all the disappointments and heartbreaks.
I know I will survive this heartbreak after all I did survive all your attempts to break me.
Very few beautiful moments, so many heartbreaks and the time I spent with you has been a rollercoaster.
A rollercoaster that I want to ride again.
You can’t put others down and then see yourself perfect, you have to rise above.
You have to understand that nobody can make your life better but only you can make it for yourself.
I fought hard to not destroy the image I had for you, the image of the perfect man who meant the world to me.
But you kept on insisting to shatter that image day after day until the mask dropped and I saw you for who you really are.
I hope you know how much I loved you and how badly you broke my heart.
I tried to prove everyone wrong and not to believe all your efforts to destroy my life.
Until I saw you after almost a year and I saw an unexplained hatred and evilness in your eyes.
It scared me but it woke me up from the illusion I wanted to believe so hard.
I wanted to believe that there was good in you and that you didn’t mean to do all what you did to me but every time you had to prove me wrong.
This is when I had to let you go and started to grieve the loss of the person I thought existed but happened to be the biggest most cruel Lie in my Life.