True Or Not? This Can Only Be Answered By The Narcissist!
After the damage that I have been through because of the only Man I loved from the bottom of my heart.
The shock of coming to the conclusion that he is a Merciless Narcissist was too hard for me to believe.
How can such a charming man be that evil and cruel.
Then I met someone in a gathering and while talking he introduced himself as a Narcissist who’s trying to keep his Narcissistic behaviours under control.
I found myself asking him what do Narcissists feel after we leave?!
He answered saying:
Notice the use of the word facade.
Do not think for a second that the Narcissist truly doesn’t care about what he did.
He will never admit this but he wants so desperately to simply go up and apologise and ask you to come back.
But his Ego won’t let him, it will prevent him and it will torture him.
To be in a position where you are asking is revealing weakness? Never.
So what to do to ease the pain?
He ignores you.
Simply talking or trying to explain hurts him and he can’t bring himself to take revenge beyond justifying himself.
The second reason is that of the Image. Presumably you have been allowed to be close to him.
You have seen what he is really like underneath.
What he hides under that exterior.
This in itself is a cycle because you have glimpsed a little.
He becomes disproportionally angry and his mask slips more and more around you.
Narcissists can’t stand being around people who do not have a good impression of them and this being around extends into cyberspace as well.
Because the Narcissist doesn’t just want to put on a show, he wants to control the thoughts of those around him.
Deep down he knows he is putting on an image but he won’t admit it to himself and in order to be able to gaslight himself in such a way, he needs to feed on the views of others.
He also does not want to be seen as a person who can’t hold relationships.
So Narcissists won’t necessarily be rude or mean to their ex.
For example, if they are both invited to a party and sit across from each other at a table with two other people, they will most certainly talk.
But the Narcissist will act as if he doesn’t know her or as if he just met her.
And she will be too afraid to not play along because he holds all the cards of the story.
Then there is the hurt card which is played by a disproportionate reaction such as blocking you on a phone.
Your inquiries are met with silence, prompting you to rethink your words and actions.
What could I have done to hurt him this much?
And gives him the key to your memories, emotions as well as power over your guilt, making you more vulnerable to gaslighting and easier to draw back in.
You are forced to enter more and more into the Narcissist’s mind to sort out the problem and with a snap he lets you back in, trapped of your own accord.
Think of a tug-of-war prank,
When both parties are pulling hard and one suddenly releases pressure, the other, still pulling hard is thrown backwards by the lack of counter balancing force.
The Narcissistic Game is a curious reversal of this phenomenon, where you and the Narcissist will both be pushing against each other in an attempt to give the hot potato to the other.
When one party almost always the Narcissist stops pushing the other slams forward into him.
Lastly, the Narcissist will always be the Victim if he can’t be the Victor.
He wants you to come back to him.
He enjoys the feeling of holding power over others and for you to request a return of communication so he can place the moral responsibility on you for a relationship.
By blocking you he paints himself as the Victim.
Alright, if you want to have a relationship he thinks you have tomake the effort and therefore all of his responsibility is absolved.
Then his last advice to me was this,
If you were with a Narcissist who hurt you, don’t take this information and use it against him.
It will end inordinately badly for you.
Just let it go because Narcissists have no power over those they can’t draw in.