We Need To Talk It Out To Get It Out Of Our System.
It’s not really about other people understanding.
It’s more about processing and trying to grieve a relationship that was very real to us.
If someone dies, people are there to support through the grieving process but this is a very lonely grieving the end of a relationship with A Narcissist as often the support we could use is not there.
Because unless someone has experienced this first hand they will never really understand.
I know I would never have understood it.
It’s hard to because relationships do end and people understand that but trying to understand the trauma bond and how almost addicted we were and having that addiction taken away then realising that what we believed to be real love was not really love in the first place.
Between normal people there’s usually closure because each party knows what went down.
In this situation often times it goes from high intense fairytale type over love to very abruptly being devalued, punished and then discarded.
We can’t even understand what happened.
In the devaluing stage there is gaslighting where we are made to feel like the crazy ones.
Then on top of everything we are distanced from other mutual friends.
The Narcissist could be justifying the end of the relationship with false stories, he doesn’t want to look like the bad guy or less than.
And The Victim is disadvantaged as most will only see the false mask of The Narcissist.
He appears so loving and nice.
So again we are made to feel like the crazy ones.
Even though we know others probably will never fully understand, we crave to be understood and to be validated that we are not crazy.
For we feel crazy ourselves at times because our heart and head are on two different paths.
We know we deserve to be treated better, we know we deserve to be loved as we are worth it and we know this was a toxic relationship but we would also give just about anything to go back to The Narcissist.
We are angry with ourselves for willing to accept such abuse.
We are grieving not sure what happened and emotions are all over the place.
We crave to have support as we grieve, to have someone understand and to not have to experience something so traumatic alone.
We need to talk it out to get it out of our system.