I can’t recall how many times did I ask myself this question.
I was confuseld and in denial because I didn’t want to believe that this is who he really is.
I wanted it to be my fault and I was trying to find out what did I do wrong until I was hit hard by the truth.
A Narcissist is unusually cruel even in the love bombing phase.
A person must have darkness in his soul that enables him to lead someone to believe that he’s crazy about him/her with the mere intention of destroying his/her self-esteem.
The cruelty comes from his lack of object relations which makes him view others as either all good or all bad.
It is my belief that this stems from a hatred of self and maybe that’s why he needs to view other people as inferior to him.
A Narcissist didn’t turn cruel because he has always been cruel.
It only seemed like there’s been a change but the truth was that he no longer had the need to hide his cruel nature so the covert cruelty was no longer practiced and the mask fell off.
The Narcisisst never actually loved me.
What he loved was the love reflecting back to him in my eyes.
He loved my selflessness and was completely unconcerned if my sense of self was lost to me.
The person I loved never really existed.
He cleverly extracted from me the qualities I respected and looked for in a significant other and then he cleverly imposed those characteristics.
He was never the person who he portrayed himself to be.
He only love himself and that’s a fact.
Other people only exist in terms of how they can be used in his pursuit of his goals.
The Narcissist has not changed.
But my perception of him has become more clear and that’s what happened.