What’s His Goal?!
The goal of The Narcissist has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
Nothing A Narcissist does has anything to do with you because it’s about him and only him.
His goal in life is to compensate for his fragile self-esteem by being being successful, powerful and having people see him as a perfect person.
The specifics as to what his goals are vary from one person to another.
His main goal in life is to regulate his self-esteem and that affects every single thing he does.
One thing is a given, A Narcissist is too preoccupied with himself to make someone else the main focus of any goal in his life.
You maybe apart of one of his goals though.
He’s trying to regulate his self-esteem and everything he does in life is about that.
He doesn’t experience much empathy and is entirely self-centred so the fact that he breaks other people’s spirits in the process of regulating his self-esteem doesn’t bother him.
It’s not necessarily that he is trying to break your spirit, it’s just that he is trying to get admiration and be at the top of the hierarchy chain so your spirit might get broken in the process if you are seen as a threat.
Anyone and anything could somehow be seen as a threat to his self-esteem so this isn’t about anything you did.
If it wasn’t your spirit he was crushing then it would be someone else’s.
Breaking your spirit therefore might happen in the process of him achieving one of his goals but it isn’t the goal itself.
Even if A Narcissist has a goal of devaluing you, the actual goal is to make himself feel better and protect his fragile self-esteem.
It may not seem that way because it’s subconscious which means that outwardly it could appear like this person just wants to tear you down because of something related to you.
That’s why it’s important to keep in mind that he isn’t breaking your spirit because of anything to do with you.
He is likely breaking your spirit because he subconsciously feels like his own spirit is broken and he thinks in terms of hierarchy so he doesn’t want to feel inferior to you or anyone else.
You might not even know what you did to make him feel insecure because it could have been something minor.
He also is envious of anyone he feels is better than him in any way so that’s another possible motive of his.
It’s more about lifting himself up than it is about knocking you down.
He’s not concerned about you or anyone else other than himself, you are just an obstacle in his way.
Any concern or interest shown towards you isn’t actually about you, it’s about how you are in comparison to him because he sees you as either above or below him and what he can use you for or get from you.
A Narcissist’s goal isn’t to break your spirit.
A Narcissist’s goal is to regulate his self-esteem and compensate for the fact that his own spirit is broken.
Breaking your spirit is unfortunately something that will happen in the process of The Narcissist trying to achieve these goals because to him, knocking other people down is just another way for him to make it to the top.