When I Fell For You I Never Thought You Would Leave Me Feeling This Numb.

I’m not going to apologise to you because that would be reliving a painful incident.

It almost feels like I’m buried alive right now.

When you broke my heart my whole identity was shattered.

I felt the grief as painfully as someone who has lost a loved one to death.

Sometimes the pain can be even stronger.

Let’s keep it real.
I loved you.
I loved you honestly and beautifully and painfully.

I loved you till all I did was suffer.
I loved you genuinely and you broke me.

Like I had been a complete stranger to you.
In fact you broke me like I had been your enemy.

Because strangers do not deserve being left out in the dark of the night, the cold evening, the pouring rain or the blistering sun.

And that’s what you did when you left me in all these states all at once.

I loved you and you broke me.
With such ease like a recurring nightmare in your otherwise peaceful slumber.

You broke me and left me with scars and open wounds with no remedies for my pain, no closure and no solace just nothingness.

I became a stranger to my life and to my very own existence.

When you left I felt like a butterfly with broken wings.

You broke me but I will fix myself.
With papier mâché, duct tape, anger, sadness and dark humour that made me numb.

As time goes by I will fix myself woefully, terribly and imperfectly but still in the best way I could in each passing moment.

I’m not going to apologise to you.
I’m still alive, Breathing, Surviving, Healing and waiting.

Waiting for the day, the hour and the moment when I will know with all certainty that I have forgotten you.

The brokenness you have created will turn in to something beautiful.

And because of the beauty that comes with this kind of brokenness I don’t need you to apologise to me either.

But for now we can just leave it at this,
I loved you and you broke me.

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