When Will The Intense Emotions You Have For The Narcissist Diminish?
A Narcissist has no capacity for processing shame and the slightest feeling of it will induce a rage in him.
How long the pain lasts truly depends on you. Are you willing to sit with it, feel it, embrace it and learn from it or do you move to other distractions to relieve the pain?!
It’s like an addiction.
The chemicals in your brain are firing at rapid speed and trying desperately to move back to homeostasis.
It’s a survival method.
The body aches and the brain transmits this as a threat.
In an effort to survive you must get that cured.
If and only if you can stay away long enough to reprogram your brain and heal your body will the pain diminish.
It’s a process of deep reflection and grief.
It’s painful to the core and it’s an amazing journey.
Someone once told me that we are only sent angels.
So I buckled up, got real with myself and accepted that pain until it diminished.
I accepted the lesson and thanked the powers that be for bringing it to me.
I‘m a better person today because I chose the road less traveled and trudged through the pain.
The intense emotions you feel will pass once enough time has gone by.
As with any loss, you have to grieve what you thought you had.
I knew that he was toxic and I still missed him tremendously.
I spent a significant amount of time educating myself on Narcissism so I could intellectually grasp what I had gone through.
Even then it was challenging to stay No Contact because my heart took far longer to catch up.
As time went by and I recognised him for what he was and I healed my inner childhood wounds then the attraction became significantly less.
On some level I still miss him but then I need to remind myself that he never existed in the first place ,, he was simply an illusion.
I was in the love bombing stage for quite sometime because he never had me fully emotionally engaged after some very egregious things he had done early on so leaving was very difficult.
Regardless I still saw his truth from time to time and this allowed me to build an arsenal of an emotional wall so when the time came to go No Contact, I was ready but it was still painful.
I never set out to stay with the intention of emotionally separating.
It just happened that way because I decided I would learn all I could from this experience and it will either repair itself or I would grow enough emotionally to leave.
Once I healed my childhood wounds I was able to move on.
Now when I look back, I can vividly recall the reflags and instead of rationalising it due to his traumatic childhood, now I can acknowledge how unconscious and thoroughly toxic he is and I want no part of it.
You too will find peace because you are not meant to stay with A Narcissist no matter how much you love him.
This experience is just meant to help you identify and heal your childhood wounds so you can find a more fulfilling mature love relationship which is unachievable with A Narcissist.
Meditation is an excellent way to allow healing to occur along with a professional that understands trauma.
Remember self care and self love are keywords.
This is a marathon so train hard because you will reap the rewards in the end.
I guarantee it.