When You Allow Yourself To See Beyond The Pain!!
You are not addicted to The Narcissist but to a dream, a promise and what you wanted him to be.
Whatever emotion you are holding on to is filling a void in you.
The illusionary attachment to The Narcissist will effortlessly dissolve in time.
You will be able to walk away without ever looking back but he will cross your mind every now and then.
I found myself thinking about The Narcissist I once loved and then I wrote this to him.
“I used to love you once until I realised there was nothing there to love.
You didn’t want my love, you only wanted my attention.
Once you had my love, you thought there must be better.
Coward is the man who ignites a woman’s love with no intention to commit.
Shallow is the man who has a woman’s love then looks for something more.
Selfish is the man who sucks you in but only wants you to waste time.
All the qualities that I adored in you were really not there after all.
All I had left was me, just me.
Then I found out that I didn’t need you anymore and I set myself free!”
When he crosses your mind try to ask yourself, what was it about him that made you love him.
What helped me was the realisation that what I had loved was how he made me feel about myself.
He had made me feel desirable, beautiful and loved.
I felt light and free and when he walked away, it felt like he took it all with him.
What I came to realise was that he was just a conduit to those feelings.
He couldn’t have brought those feelings out if I didn’t already have it within me.
I came to know that I’m desirable, I’m beautiful and I’m loved.
It was all within me, it is me!
Once I connected with the pure love that is in me, it changed me.
I found myself and now I love who I am.
When I no longer needed any outside validation and approval, he was no longer relevant to me.
The interesting thing is that I still have love and compassion for him but it holds no significance.
He is still in my memory and part of my past but he holds no power over me anymore and it freed me to love again.
I was deeply bonded and I didn’t know how I would ever let go.
All what I will tell you is that you just have to ride it out and let the chemicals subside.
Surrender and accept what is.
Grieve the loss, wallow in your self pity but don’t stay there.
We obsess because we still try to control the outcome and make sense of it all.
If you try to stop your thoughts, you will just create resistance and obsess more.
Allow the thoughts but detach yourself from him and he will lose his grip.
If you find yourself thinking about him try to be an objective observer of your thoughts.
You will eventually think that this is getting boring now and your mind will move on to do something more interesting ,, like go and change the world!
The key for me was to let go of my emotions.
Let go of the anger, the hurt, the sadness, any bitterness and resentment.
You will be left with the pure love inside you.
Let go of trying to control anyone but yourself.
Today I‘m glad that I have known the pain of heartbreak and that I have overcome the trauma of abandonment.
It took me to the depths of despair but I look back and I know that I‘m so proud of who I am today.
I see the beauty in heartbreak because I know that it was my ability to love and it wasn’t about him.
There are lessons and opportunities in heartbreak if you allow yourself to see beyond the pain.
Your happiness didn’t come from the person you loved because that power is all yours.
It would probably give The Narcissist I once loved pleasure to know how hard it was for me to get over him but I can chuckle about it now and think ,, if it does give him pleasure, he is welcome to it because it doesn’t matter to me anymore and I think that’s what freedom is!