When You Come To Know What The Narcissist Been Saying About You!
My advice is to leave it all behind you.
A Narcissist is not a normal functioning individual and you have to be grateful for the fact that you managed to escape such an unhealthy master-slave type relationship.
It has to be recognised that his anger and emotional response towards a former partner is not about losing him/her or the normal emotional feelings that people experience when a relationship breaks-up.
It’s about the fact that his power base and sphere of influence which gives him his identity has been shattered.
He immediately resort to employing psychological tactics to try and regain control of the situation which a lot of Narcissists are very well versed in utilising including but not limited to smear campaigns and portraying themselves as The Victim not The Instigator.
The Experienced Narcissist would have subtly isolated his Victim in the very early stages of the relationship from his/her friends as well as anyone that he considered a real threat or challenge to him in the event that should something go wrong with the relationship he redirect attention away from him for you to take the fall.
If that doesn’t work he will try other ways to re-engage because he is desperate to get his power and status back but it’s always about his personal well-being and welfare only.
Move on because there’s very little point or value worrying about a class of person that clearly has some form of mental health issues.
For those who know you well and are your friends will also ignore the ravings and behaviours of such A Lunatic.
Finding out doesn’t resolve or change the outcome, it will only prevent your wounds from healing and you moving on in life.
The thing about Narcissism is that we can learn why A Narcissist abuse.
Why he feels envy, boredom and Narcissistic Injury.
What’s hard to wrap our head around is that such evil people actually exists.
It shocks our psyche because it’s a degradation of what we typically call human.
We like to say that we are just humans.
We have loving hearts and are prone to excusable mistakes.
The Narcissist has neither.
His errors and abuses come from an entirely different place.
I could try to understand why The Narcissist I once loved abuses others but what I have difficulty understanding is what kind of a human would even desire to do this.
Seeing him for who he really is was the most painful, shocking and essentially revolting concept that my mind just couldn’t accept.
My mind was continuously rejecting the concept of someone enjoying the degradation and breaking down of someone who loved him.
The concept that the kind of person behind the mask exists is what was rejected by my heart and my mind.
The Narcissist abuse goes beyond any common sense.
He abuses because this is who he is.
And who he is, is so fundamentally different from the loving error prone heart that we typically think of as humans.
We constantly make and accept excuses for The Narcissist because the human mind can’t find any pleasure in expressing Narcissism.
I can forgive him for breaking my heart.
What really hurts and shocks me,
What really repulses and puts a dark shadow on the world is that such a reproachable debased spirit exists and that the malice is presented in a human form.
A human form that breathes, laughs, smiles and is so charming.
I feel hurt not by errors nor by the abuse made in anger because I can accept and try to understand that.
It’s not what he did that is the biggest deal.
It’s the debased spirit that is represented by his acts ,, that someone could be so low.
This is why Narcissists get away with so much.
Because we lack the imagination to comprehend the degraded spirit behind The Narcissist.
I believe if someone is suffering from this egotistical disorder then it’s imperative that he gets help immediately.
Unfortunately I doubt that A Narcissist ever will.