Why Do Narcissists Always Seem To Project Their Victim As The Crazy One?
Narcissists are perfect in every way.
Are you not aware of that?
It is simply not in the realm of possibility that the Narcissist could ever be wrong.
Therefore, it is the victim who is completely and utterly at fault for everything that has gone wrong.
Even when the victim has done precisely what the Narcissist has demanded, when it doesn’t go the way he wants it to go, it has to be the complete responsibility of the victim.
Narcissists are absolutely never responsible for anything that goes wrong.
They are, however, completely responsible for everything that goes right.
When the victim points out that they have only done exactly what the Narcissist wanted them to do, then the victim is at fault.
The victim is just crazy or too stupid to grasp the Narcissist’s simple instructions.
Welcome to Manipulation and Redirection 101.
However, If I’m totally honest with myself, I have to say that I truly was crazy.
I trusted someone who chronically lied to me.
I kept thinking if I show him that I’m trustworthy and vulnerable, he will feel safe.
I tried to show someone with limited awareness of himself where things just didn’t add up.
I tried to foster insight in someone else when the only person I can do that for was myself.
I tried to create what he mirrored back to me in the early stages of our relationship.
When he said he didn’t want any of that, I chose not to believe him, and I continuously tried to create the dynamics we talked about in the beginning.
After all, he said it so sincerely in the beginning so why wouldn’t it still hold true?
How could it possibly be smoke and mirrors just to capture me, and once captured, start discarding my needs bit by bit?
I tried to talk things through with someone who clearly felt safer through withholding communication.
I kept trying different tools in my arsenal, and nothing shifted that pattern.
There were times when he said I was overly dramatic, and there were times when he created crazy making conditions.
If I truly want to heal and change, I have to look at the fact that I reacted almost every single time, knowing full well that this was our established pattern.
So who is crazier?
The instigator or the one who tolerates it?
To heal, I need to look at why I tolerated it, and why it was so familiar and comfortable.
If I don’t, and instead I choose to keep victimising myself, I will attract the same lesson, in a different shirt, wearing a different mask.
I want to transcend this and create a truly loving connection.
To do that, I need to be connected to myself, and choose someone who is connected to himself.
This is how it all starts.
With me, you and all of us who survived this unspeakable abuse.