Why Do We Stay In Love With The Narcissist After Finding Out About His Ugly Truth?!
I believe it is because of the emotion play.
Our mind is wired to get engaged till we reach a conclusion.
In the case of A Narcissist we get into an arena where every time we question our emotional integrity instead of proper reasoning on The Narcissist behaviour.
This goes on and on because this person makes us feel mixed emotions.
Feel just sad and it fade away and the same goes for happiness.
However The Narcissist makes sure you are in the middle.
You discover a hell lot of emotions when in love with A Narcissist.
This is something new to your brain and you don’t believe it as you had no idea it ever existed.
So it’s not about finding the truth about The Narcissist, it’s all about you questioning your own behaviour.
In this toxic relationship you have apologised so many times that you yourself start believing that maybe you were wrong.
The past LoveBombing phase keeps questioning why is this happening?
Maybe something is wrong with you.
Even if you find a strong evidence of him cheating you still get tricked by your mind thinking that he is innocent and somehow he fell into a trap.
I know it’s difficult to believe but in many cases The Narcissist tells you a story about his childhood so instead of walking away from him, you start reasoning that his childhood wasn’t good hence he is behaving like this.
You keep questioning if you are being selfish if you leave him at this stage?
You keep saying to yourself that no one cares about him so you shall do.
We stay in love with the idea of the fantasy he provided which we supported and contributed to bringing to life.
As children we imagine growing up and finding Prince Charming but we know he is a fantasy that doesn’t really exist.
So we are out there in the world hoping to find the real life equivalent and then we think we do in spite of every fiber of our being telling us it’s too good to be true, knowing something isn’t quite right and realising we are somehow not living in reality ,, we still go all in and we stay there.
The Narcissist is a character actor playing a role just like Prince Charming and we fall in love with that actor.
It isn’t so hard to believe this happens because initially it really is a fantastic form of escapism in an otherwise chaotic world.
What we don’t know is there is a heavy price to pay for that temporary escape.
It’s like working for years without a vacation and then finally taking a little time off.
Then when you get back to work you find a decade’s worth of unfamiliar papers piled sloppily on your desk, spilling onto the desk besides you with no instructions or information with regard to what these papers are or where it came from and now you have to sort through, decipher and file.
During the process we sometimes find ourselves saying I knew I shouldn’t have taken that vacation but I did and here we are.