Why Does It Seem Like The Narcissist Is Trying To Push People Away To See Whether They Will Still Give Him Unconditional Love?!
I think it’s more of an unconscious process which many people play out with others.
Showing them what it was like for them growing up rather than necessarily talking about it.
Narcissistic people show us how needy, self centered, exploitive and sometimes cruel their Narcissistic parents were.
Wishes don’t die easily and this kind of unmet need is inter generationally transmitted.
You can trace it in the lives of people who had Narcissistically wounded parents, whose own parents faced significant wounds to their self esteem, often due to social, political, economical conditions, racial bigotry or war, you name it.
This behaviour by a Narcissist makes me so angry and aggravated.
When you first meet a Narcissist and you guys hit it off, he will warn you in many ways.
Maybe he will make you promise to never hurt or leave him.
Maybe he will say, You will let me go one day, Everyone does.
Maybe he will tell you to run away now while you have the chance.
YOU WILL FAIL HIM because you are human.
And no matter how long it takes he will see to that.
Whether you finally get mad after the fourth time he cheats or whether you had to be admitted to the hospital due to some freak accident and you weren’t able to show up when you said you would.
They will push you and push you until you reach that breaking point to prove that you are just like everyone else imperfect.
And since he is PERFECT and everything is always someone else’s fault, he will punish you in devaluing ways.
They have abandonment issues.
You may be right about them testing your unconditional love.
But they also could be rejecting you before you reject them.
The more relationships they have been in the more likely they know that’s a possibility.
Giving you less value and pulling away could be the start of a really bad part of your life.
Being devalued by someone you love is rough on your well being and selfworth.
Losing your ability to feel happy too, you will miss that when It’s gone.