Why Narcissists Avoid Interpersonal Conflicts?!
Despite giving off the impression that they are good natured or easy going in the beginning especially during the Love Bombing and Idealisation phase, Narcissists have a very low self esteem.
They are anything but good natured OR easy going.
This is because the value of their worth is contingent on propping up of their very Fragile and very False Self.
They lack the ability to take a joke, laugh at themselves or receive any criticism of any kind no matter how diplomatic, constructive or gentle you are delivering it.
In the Narcissist’s mind, his false self is superior and thus completely blameless.
Any reminder that he is in fact an ordinary fallible human like anyone else is also a reminder of the existence of his true self.
Narcissists Ego is like a candy glass that shatters in a light breeze.
He will never express his dissatisfaction with you because he is a coward and it reveals how truly pathetic he is.
He will avoid conflict with a source that is in his intellectual superior particularly if that person is less emotional, tends to be more logical, analytical and skilled in the art of debate.
A Covert Narcissist would rather be silent which is his favourite form of punishment anyway than risk being made to feel stupid.
Where is the fuel in that?
He will internalise it then silently hate and resent you until the end of time and you will be totally clueless about it since NORMAL people aren’t that fragile.
But here is something The Narcissist never ever considers the possibility of or predicts it.
Eventually their Targets will stop caring and sometimes even come to enjoy the sound of the crunch of the candy glass ego makes whenever the hardball of truth is thrown at it.
Perfection is A Subjective and A Stupid concept.
NOBODY is perfect and who would want to be?
Our flaws is what makes us beautiful and unique as long as it is not destructive to us or our loved ones.
Trying to constantly give off an air of perfection is self defeating.
Narcissists needs to come to terms with that and sort themselves out so they can stop being such a damn failure in life.
But sadly they never will.
While it may appear as though Covert Narcissists avoid interpersonal conflicts in general they are actually prone to stirring up conflict repeatedly when life doesn’t go their way.
Most people tend to have boundaries which totally offend the Narcissist, leaving him in a perpetual state of interpersonal conflict.
Whether he will let you see him conflicted or not is another story especially when it comes to A Covert Narcissist because he is always hiding who he really is in effort to con you into believing who he isn’t.
He can’t have healthy interpersonal relationships and he avoids the vulnerability of being exposed at all costs.
But one good rule to follow?
Look at the Narcissist’s actions and not his words.
He gets bored easily and is addicted to chaos and disruption but don’t ever expect him to take responsibility for it because as we all know nothing and I mean NOTHING is ever his fault.
Narcissists are like a Viper Snake in waiting, observing, calculating and taking it all in so they can use everything at a later stage to sting you.
While they may appear distant or avoiding conflict, they are secretly concocting ways to get the upper hand.
Whether it will be in the moment or a week later just so they can feel they are in control of the situation or got their revenge.
Never forget EVERYTHING is about power and control.
Even when you can’t see it happening The Narcissist is ALWAYS playing a game.
He is never his true authentic self.
There is always an entirely different scene going on in his head.
In the Narcissist’s world he is always ten steps ahead of us, planning how he is going to manipulate us by which lie he is going to tell or by deciding what truth to omit.
He needs to appear cool as a cucumber when internally he is about to combust.
If he feels that he can’t control the situation or got caught red handed, he will run like the coward he is until he thinks enough time has passed for the conflict to blow over.
Then he will come back again as if nothing has ever happened.
He counts on others being totally oblivious to his misdeeds but make no mistake he is always keeping score.
Bottom line is he refuses to take any responsibility for any problem that may ever arise so avoidance is the easiest way out but only in the moment because Narcissists will hold a grudge forever!
So if you are under the assumption that he is avoiding conflict, remember that everything is a big game of manipulation.
He knows there is no solid real person in him with values, morals, principles or convictions and he is too vulnerable to a conflict exposing the fake persona he projects.
He doesn’t have the courage to handle interpersonal conflicts so he cowers and retreats only to let his rage fester and come out at a later stage to pay you back for daring to put him in that situation that he couldn’t handle in the first place.
Narcissists are the biggest cowards you will ever have the misfortune of meeting.
They do not avoid conflict but utilise passive aggression in the most covert ways so you have no idea that they are in conflict.
The Target goes along thinking everything is fine while The Narcissist is accumulating grievances.
He masks his feelings of aggression and hate by doing everything to get it over on the other person to release his internal feelings.
It is what makes a relationship with him so confusing.
Even the kindest act on the surface can have a hidden aggression behind it which The Target will not know of.
I have learnt that every time my Narcissist was at his best and most loving state, this is when there was something else going on behind the scenes.
It made me distrust kindness which is a horrible scar to have been left with.
Narcissists are Cowards.
Passive Aggression is a coward’s way and it is much more complicated than most people realise.