Why Narcissists Become So Defensive When You Try To Get Some Clarity? (1).
Because there is no clarity in their life.
They live life by the moment.
With clarity comes credibility and Narcissists never had any credibility?!
1) They feel attacked.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder tend to be afraid of negative feedback or being shown that they are definitively wrong.
This leads them to resist being pinned down and made to explain or take responsibility for something that they have said or done.
It can feel like a potential minefield that might blow up their self-esteem.
You become the enemy who is putting them at risk.
2) They are afraid of being exposed as wrong.
A number of factors play into this.
• Unstable Self-Esteem.
People with Narcissistic Adaptations are very insecure.
Their self-esteem is very delicately balanced.
They may seem very self-assured but this is an easily pierced defensive facade.
• Carelessness with the Truth.
Many Narcissists love to hear themselves speak and will expound on topics that they know little or nothing about.
They are caught up in the pleasure of the moment and not particularly focused on the truth or falsity of what they are saying.
Being asked to own that one of their careless statements is wrong and it feels too embarrassing to admit.
• Sense of Entitlement.
Essentially their defensive sense of entitlement that hides its polar opposite and the fear that he is nothing special can lead them to angrily resist any questioning.
What gives you the right to question me?
3) Admitting to even one mistake can totally rupture their facade of being special.
Narcissistic self-esteem is like a helium baloon.
It can float high above us but a single needle prick will deflate it.
Narcissism has its own logic:
Admitting to a mistake = Admitting to being imperfect = Feeling like worthless garbage = Falling into a shame-based, self-hating depression = Avoiding admitting to a mistake.
Narcissists experience other people’s desire to have them explain their past behaviour and their motives as potentially dangerous to their precarious self-esteem.
They also don’t want to give up any freedom to do as they wish.
They see giving you clarity as a potential big loss for them.