You Are Just Not Worth The Fight Anymore!
There’s something to be said about holding on.
About staying strong and not giving up even when it would be easier to.
And most of the time staying and working through things is worth it.
It makes you understand more, learn more and grow more but one of the hardest things ever is for us to decide.
Is to actively make the choice and pick out the things and the people that are hurting us.
It doesn’t mean that we are weak and it also doesn’t mean that we don’t have the courage it takes.
It just means that finally after weeks, months or years of struggling to put the pieces back together, we have finally stopped.
We all have our reasons and mine was simply you.
It’s not that I don’t care about you anymore because the truth is that you will probably take a really long time to leave my memory.
I will probably have to unlearn you and all the things you promised me and all the comfort you put into my life for a very short time.
But there were also the bad things because you can never have one without the other.
There was the waiting and the fighting and the times when I thought that my heart would break into a thousand piece.
There was the way that I made excuses for you, that I fought for your time and time again even though you probably never deserved even that much.
When I look back on it now, I think the only problem was you.
You weren’t ready for my love or for the things I was willing to give to you and that’s ok.
But that doesn’t give you the right to take what you want and leave everything else because that’s a little tough to understand.
That makes you less of a man and not a man of your word and I need you to hear that.
I guess all I ever really wanted was for you to acknowledge all the love I had for you.
How much better I was for you than most of the other people you surrounded yourself with.
I spent so much time trying to save you and trying to make you a better version of yourself.
But I’m tired and I’m done.
Maybe at one point in time I would have stayed a little while longer.
I would have kept calling and texting to make sure that you were ok because I used to worry about you.
Maybe if you would have given me a little bit more to go off of, I would still be right beside you, clinging to the thought that one day we would be together forever.
But it’s just not fair to have you suck all of the energy out of me.
So believe me when I say that I fought as long and as hard as I could but I’m done looking like an idiot for someone who wouldn’t lift a finger for me.
Who wouldn’t even look back to make sure that I had steady footing.
I want to believe that someday you will understand just how big of a mess you made and just how much you took from me.
But for now, I can gain a certain kind of peace knowing that from now on if I lose any sleep it won’t be because of you.
When I feel myself breaking, you won’t be at the centre of it watching it all fall.
And finally I can stop fighting for someone who was just a shadow of a person and an outline of what could have been.
I have set myself free and that’s the one thing that you can never take away from me.
I still care about you but I now know that you are not worth a fight.