You Are Not The Problem.

When people tell you that you are stupid, crazy and ugly.

There is a reason for it and it is not what you think.

 A person saying such things to you doesn’t necessarily believe that you are those things.

In fact, most likely he doesn’t believe it at all, quite the contrary, he thinks you are intelligent and attractive.

 So why would a person say such awful things to another when he doesn’t believe it to be true?  

There are two very distinct possibilities.

Control.
A person with low self-esteem is much easier to control than someone with healthy self-esteem.  

The more a person is beaten down, thinking they are stupid, worthless and other awful things, the easier that person is to control because they assume the controlling person knows best.  

Also a person with low self-esteem will work as hard as they can to get love and approval.  

This works nicely for the controller because he can get anything he wants from the victim.

 Projection.
Narcissists love to project their flaws onto others.  

If The Narcissist is a liar, he will accuse you of lying.  

Overeats? He will call you a glutton, pig or fat.  

By doing this projection thing, it allows The Narcissist to be angry about the flaw while not accepting that he has it.

It is just one in his arsenal of horrible coping skills.

 The next time someone says terrible things about you, take notice.

There is a very good reason for it and chances are that it isn’t that they are offering you constructive criticisms in order to help improve you.

3 Comments

  • I agree with you Aya. People love to judge others, it seems that is in our nature

    • That’s how I learned not to say anything bad about anyone no matter how bad they are or how horribly they treated me. Everyone is fighting a silent battle that no one knows anything about.

      • Silent battle…you said it right. I don’t believe in bad people. I believe in bad judgment, because I want my life to be always in my hands, and if someone do something bad to me, then my assessment towards that person was bad

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