You Can Make It Possible.
When you understand why letting go of someone you love feels impossible and more painful than anything you ever imagined, you will find yourself moving towards acceptance and freedom.
The most important thing to remember is that you dig yourself deeper every time you tell yourself that it is impossible to let go.
Your thoughts have power!
Your thoughts can keep you stuck in the past or move you forward into a new life.
Your thoughts can make what feels impossible possible and it can make the possible feel impossible.
Letting go of someone you love is possible unless you believe the lie that you can’t live without him.
No matter how much I tell myself that I deserve better and remember that he lied to me and made me feel bad about myself, I still feel a horrible ache from missing him.
I try to tell myself that one day I will meet someone who is right for me but my thoughts constantly go back to him.
It felt impossible to let go of him because I loved him so much.
I have had loss in my life before but I never felt as devastated as I do now.
Why can’t I let go?
There are many reasons we can’t let go of the one we love such as fear, low self esteem, shame, guilt, regret, desperation and neediness.
To heal we need to find our reason for not letting go.
The sooner we learn what holds us back the easier it will be to move forward.
• Why Letting Go Feels Impossible?
The biggest reason is that we are created for love.
God wired us to need each other, love each other and stay connected.
Healthy supportive relationships are the most important thing in our lives.
When it ends it feels impossible to let go.
Losing someone we love is painful because we were created to be together.
So it is normal if you feel devastated because of this separation.
You will get through this even though it may feel impossible to let go ,, it is not.
With God all things are possible even healing after one of the most painful experiences of our lives.
• Unrealistic Expectations.
At the beginning of a relationship, potential partners show us their best.
The romance, excitement, blossoming interest and love we feel creates an imprint in our minds as well as our hearts.
We often and sometimes unknowingly create unrealistic expectations for the future.
When we have unrealistic expectations, we hold on to someone even after we realise he isn’t capable of living up to our expectations.
Those expectations are hard to let go of which is why it feels impossible to move on.
Many of us choose to hold onto our original belief rather than see what is right in front of us.
We believe we can have what we wanted and it holds us back from healing.
• Personal Failures.
People with low self confidence may equate a failed relationship with a personal failure.
In addition they associate their worth with how others view them.
Being dumped and alone leads to more feelings of worthlessness.
In contrast someone with higher self confidence might feel happy to be free of an unhealthy relationship.
If you feel stuck in the past and can’t let go you may be struggling with feelings of low self worth.
Instead of accepting that he simply isn’t right for you, you will see it as proof that you are not good enough for him or anybody else.
You don’t feel like you are worthy of love.
If you see the breakup as a direct reflection on your self image and self worth then it will feel impossible to let go.
• Feeling Like This Was Your Last Chance.
The belief that I would never find anyone else was holding me back from letting go of the past, healing and moving on.
I didn’t want to go through the time and trouble of meeting someone else.
It felt impossible to let go because it was easier to stay where I was so I kept myself stuck in the past and yearning for what was for over a year.
I let my fear, insecurity and self doubt hold me back from moving on and healing.
When you are single it can feel like you are surrounded by happy couples blissfully expecting their first child or buying their first home together.
Since you can’t avoid women who are in good relationships, you need to stop comparing your life to theirs.
Happy people largely ignore social comparison information, instead their views of themselves are based on more stable internal standards.
When happy, secure and confident women don’t meet their own internal standards they take action to make themselves feel better or to improve their future.
Different women find strength and healing in different ways, spirituality, creativity, therapy, friends, family members, work, hobbies, travel or a support group.
Your job is to experience different ways and types of healing and find what works for you.
• How to Make the Impossible Possible?
Are you ready to do the work of letting go of someone you love?
Be honest with yourself and start by admitting what you don’t want to face.
You know things about yourself that you are not eager to admit.
For example, did you stay for too long because you are scared to be alone?
Were you allowing problems to continue because you didn’t want to face it?
One of the healthiest ways to let go of someone you love is to learn more about yourself by being honest and authentic.
The more you know about who you are.
The stronger you will be.