You Will Regret Losing The Girl Who Tried Too Hard To Keep You …
The day is going to hit you when you realise that she is no longer a choice you get to make, because she finally chose someone who chose her.
You will cross paths and she won’t notice you because she will be staring at someone else laughing harder than you have ever seen her.
She will look and sound familiar but as you look a little closer you will realise how much has changed about her.
What changed was the way she looked at you.
She used to look at you with eyes of admiration but now she started to look at herself that way.
The way she used to build you up and admire you.
You will realise someone you thought wasn’t confident and needed you doesn’t anymore.
You will realise she looks a little prettier that far away even if she is close, but there is always something about someone we can’t have.
It is going to be then when you will realise what it is you miss about her.
Every conversation where she talked about you, text you knew with certainty would be answered a little too fast and texts you even used to ignore and voicemails you hated that she left.
You will find yourself looking at pictures you didn’t want to take in the first place but she insisted you do so but you never knew that looking back at those moments and memories would hurt so much.
You will miss the little details she filled you in on and how you were a key player in her life.
You will miss the messages that popped up when she saw something and thought of you, and the conversations of just wanting to know how you were doing.
How you would part ways and she would always say “I love you” and “get home safely” with a kiss on the cheek as she took off even though She never said it out loud.
Those moments of missing her will hit you as you realise that she genuinely cared about you.
And maybe it was annoying sometimes but there wasn’t anyone with better intentions, there wasn’t anyone who would do anything you ask.
You will realise that what you thought was desperation was really caring.You will realise that what really seemed like she lacked confidence was her giving it to someone who didn’t appreciate it.
You will realise every time you thought she was different is what made her so special.
You will regret the fact you never told her all these things, never appreciated her or even thanked her.
You will miss someone who never stopped trying with you until she had to because even after all her efforts, she learnt that she will never be enough.
It is the nights you will stay awake and remember when you used to text her at odd hours and she would always make the time to talk to you.
All those times you cancelled and all she responded with was “ok see you soon”.
All those times you used her and she let you, not because she was weak but because she knew that it reflected you and not her.
You will miss how carelessly she told you exactly how she felt and the actions that matched it.
You will miss this person who was always on your side wanting what was best for you but she learnt over the time that it would never be her.
You will think back on how much time, emotions and energy she invested in you and all you did was leaving her with uncertainty and doubt.
Her absence and her silence will make you realise how much you must have hurt her.
You will look at your phone and you will want to text her and ask how she is but you won’t be able to even figure out how to say hello, and it isn’t like you did anything wrong, but you didn’t do anything right either to make her stay.
That is the thing about good people they stay for as long as they can believing in you, but you can’t keep them waiting forever.
She walked away because she had to as she couldn’t keep trying and caring and putting herself out there only to get hurt.
She didn’t want to be wrong about you and she hated that she was because she thought you were different.
She realised she couldn’t be the only one trying here to keep you and be with you.
You will each move on and you will watch as she does, maybe across a newsfeed or a snap story.
Maybe you will know she moved on because it almost feels like she has vanished in a way, not even caring to advertise her new relationship because it is one that she is keeping for herself.
You will wonder what is going on but you won’t even find the words to ask.
She will meet someone who doesn’t have to lose her in order for him to realise that she was someone of value, someone who deserved love and attention.
You will see her out and she will look at you smiling maybe even hug you like she used to but everything about it will feel awkward because there is going to be a moment when you two lock eyes and you will realise that it wasn’t supposed to end this way but it did because of you.
This when you will realise that she was worth fighting for but you will also know that you have realised that too late!